My most prized possession is my happiness. A very close second is my violin.
Imagine my happiness was actually, entirely vested in something physical. Let’s just use my violin. So, hypothetically, my violin = my happiness.
Got it?
Ok. Now. If my happiness is a tangible possession, how am I going to care for it?
Well… I guess I’ll keep it clean, take it with me when I go places, and I won’t let anyone else play with it. Why? Because it’s mine and no one else can possibly be responsible for it.
Enough analogies. What I’m talking about is self-preservation and it is probably the most important aspect to my happiness.
Quick story: I was in Philly one night, partying with my cousin at an after hour spot. My cousin drove me back to 13th street to pick up my car around 4 a.m. and to her surprise… there were no cars parked on 13th street.
Conversation went like this:
Her: You said you parked on 13th?
Me: Yeah
Her: There’s no cars here.
*looks out window*
Me: … my car sho’ is gon’ huh?
Her: Do you think it was stolen?
Me: Maybe. But it was probably PPA. I guess you can’t park here after midnight.
*re-reads sign* *googles PPA hours*
Her: You want me to take you home?
Me: Naw, my house keys are in the car. I’ll crash at your place and pick up the car tomorrow cause the parking authority is closed now.
*sings along with radio*
Her: How… in the world… are you so calm right now?
Me: *shrug* The car is gone. PPA is closed. My house keys are in the car. There’s not one single thing that I can do about any of these problems right now. Don’t get me wrong, it sucks. But no matter how angry I get, it won’t bring the car back.
Her: If I was you… man, right now I would be flipping out.
Me: Man, I had a good time tonight. PPA isn’t gonna take that away from me. I know it might be frustrating but I’ll get the car back and then everything will be fine. Until then, why worry about it?
———————————————————————————-
When I saw that the car was gone, I immediately went through every option that I had to get it back. I accepted that there was nothing I could do and that I would not waste one second worrying about it. Not one damn second. What’s more valuable? The car? My happiness?
I like my car (her name Lola) but at the end of the day… fuck that car son! I don’t give a fuuuuuck. Not if it interferes with my happiness.
I get a lot of flack sometimes for not giving in when I see my happiness in jeopardy. I went to a gathering a few months ago where two drunken chicks began scissoring each other (you read that correctly). At first, I laughed. After a while, I realized that I was no longer having fun at this gathering. I got up, put my coat on, and said goodbye to my friends. My reasoning was simple; I wasn’t having fun anymore so I wanted to leave. I wasn’t pressuring anyone to come with me or to compromise their fun. I was just protecting my interest in that night.
I don’t wanna wait for the planets to align as if my happiness isn’t something that I have a right to. The universe is not going to control it. It’s mine! This whole world? It’s mine!
Tell Me What You Know About Dreams, Dreams
Tell Me What You Know About Night Terrors, Nothin’
You Don’t Really Care About The Trials Of Tomorrow
Rather Lay Awake In A Bed Full Of Sorrow
#Nowplaying Pursuit of Happiness - Kid Cudi
